Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (10).pdf/16

 word, he could not poſſibly ſpare them out of his chamber, but he might come there and blow all the day if he would.

A ſcholar at the grammar School of St Andrews, coming into a room where his maſter had laid down a baſket of fine cherries for his own eating, the waggiſh boy takes it up, and cries aloud, I publiſh the banns between theſe cherries and my mouth, if any know any juſt cauſe or impediment, why theſe two ſhould not be joined together, let them declare it. The maſter being in the next room overhear all that was ſaid; and, coming into the ſchool, he ordered the boy who had eaten his cherries to be taken up, or, as he called it, horſed on another boy's back: but before he proceeded to the uſual diſcipline, he cries out aloud, as the delinquent had done, I publiſh the banns between the boy's breeches and my taws; if anyone knows any juſt cauſe or impediment why theſe two ſhould not he joined together, let them declare it. George paſſing by in the mean time, overheard this proclamation; I forbid the banns, cried he. Why ſo, ſays the ſchoolmaſter? becauſe the parties are not agreed, replied he. Which anſwer ſo plealed the maſter, that the boy was ſet down without any puniſhment.

A young gentleman that wanted to be witty on the ſcriptures, eating ſome cheeſe full of mites, one night at a tavern, now, ſaid he, I have done as much as Sampſon, for I have ſlein my thouſands and ten thouſands. Yes, replied George, who happened to be in his company, and with the ſame weapon too, the jaw bone of an aſs: which anſwer ſet the whole company a laughing to ſee the young gentleman beat with his own weapon.

Georg being in company where three biſhops were preſent at dinner, they knowing George to be a great ſcholar, and comical withal, they put upon him to ſay the grace, which he did as follows:

Fall on gentlemen, the cauſe is good. This grace made the biſhops look like fools on one another, while George laughed heartily at the confuſion they were in.

A candle maker having had ſome candles ſtole, was telling it in a company where George was preſent, who bade him be of good cheer, for in a ſhort time, ſays he, I am aſſured they will come to light.