Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (10).pdf/15

 the law was only againſt ſwords, and as he only wore a ſcabbard, was no ways liable. At ſeeing this, the king and his court were convinced that the law was imperfect, and that George had more wit than themſelves.

George, one day eaſing himſelf at the corner of a hedge, was eſpied by an Engliſh 'ſquire, who began to mock him, aſking him, Why did he not keckle like the hens; But George, whoſe wit was always ready, told him, He was afraid to keckle left he ſhould come and ſnatch up the egg. Which rebuff made the 'ſquire walk off as mute as a fiſh.

George was profeſſor in the College of St. Andrews, and ſlipt out one day in his gown and flippers, and went to his travels through Italy, and ſeveral other foreign countries; and after ſeven years, returned with the ſame dreſs he went off in; entered the college, and took a poſſeſſion of his ſeat there; but the profeſſor in his room quarrelled him for ſo doing. Ay, ſays George, it is a very odd thing that a man cannot take a walk out in his ſlippers, but another will take up his ſeat; and ſo ſet the other profeſſor about his buſineſs.

There was a bell at Dalkieth, which the Popiſh clergy made uſe of to extort confeſſions from the ignorant people, in the following manner: they told be perſons whom they ſuſpected guilty, that the bell would rive at the touch of a guilty perſon, but if not guilty, it would not: by this means they generally frightened the ignorant into confeſſions; for if the bell would rive, the perſon was then to be condemned to death, but they magnified the matter ſo, that the bell was never put to the trial, till George did as follows: he was taken up for ſaying, that the pope was fallible himſelf, and could not pardon the ſins of others. George owned he ſaid ſo, but would refer to the bell whether he was guilty or not. The prieſts, though unwilling, were obliged to comply. George touched the bell, repeating as before, The Pope is fallible, and cannot pardon ſin, moreover added, The Pope and popiſh clergy are impoſtors, and thereupon touched the bell, referring to it for the truth; but the bell not renting, the prefts were diſgraced as impostors, and he was honourably acquitted, and the bell was laid aſide.

George deſired a member of the College of St. Andrews to lend him a book: the other told him, he could not poſſibly ſpare it out of his chamber, but if he pleaſed he might come there and read all the day long. Some time after the gentleman ſent to George to borrow his bellows; but he ſent him