Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of Geo. Buchanan.pdf/26

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The Grave-digger of Sorn, Ayrshire, was as selfish and as mean a sinner as ever handled mattock, or mortcloth. He was a very quarrelsome and discontented old man, with a voice like the whistle of the wind through a key-hole. On a bleak Sunday afternoon in the country, an acquaintance from a neighbouring parish accosted him and asked how the world was moving with him, “Oh, very puirly, sir, very puirly indeed,” was the answer, “the yard has done naething ava for us this summer, if ye like to believe me, I havna buried a levin’ soul this sax weeks.”

A Highland Drover passing through a certain town, noticed a sign-board above an entry, with the following inscription:

Green Teas, Raw Sugars, Marumi ides, Jellies, Capped Biscuits, and all sorts of Confectionery Goods, sold down this entry.

He read it as follows : — Green Trees, Raw Sodgers, Mermaids, Jades, Scabbed Bitches, and all sorts of Confusionary Goods, sold down this entry.