Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of Geo. Buchanan.pdf/23

Rh sow them. When will they grow? said the judge. They will grow, said George, when sodden eggs grow chickens, which answer convinced the judge of the extravagance of the innkeeper’s demand, and the Scotsman was acquitted for two pence halfpenny. George one day easing himself at the corner of a hedge, was espied by an English squire, who began to mock him, asking him why he did not keekle like the hens? But George, whose wit was always ready, told him he was afraid to keekle, lest he would come and snatch up the egg, which rebuff made the squire walk off as mute as a fish.

George was professor of the College of St Andrews, and slipt out one day in his gown and slippers, and went on his travels through Italy, and several other foreign countries, and after seven years returned with the same dress he went off in; and entering the college, look possession of his seat there; but the professor in his room quarrelled him for so doing. Ay, says George, it is a very odd thing that a man cannot take a walk out in his slippers, but another will take up his seat. And so set the other professor about his business.

Two drunken fellows one day fell a-beating one another on the streets of London, which caused a great crowd of people to throne together t see what it was. A tailor being at work up in a garret, about three or four stories high, and he hearing the noise m the street, looking over the window, and alighted on an old man who was walking on the street; the poor tailor was more afraid than hurt, but the man he fell on died directly. His son caused the tailor to be apprehended and tried for the murder of his father; the jury could not bring it in wilful murder neither could they altogether free the tailor the jury gave it over to the judges, and the judges to the king. The king asked George’s advice in this