Page:Witty & entertaining exploits of George Buchanan.pdf/5

 appointed time. Now, George being the oldest man, and by them counted the greatest fool, the young spark permitted him to jump first, which he according to order did, and jumped within a foot of the place where the ground was falsified. The young man seeing this, made his performance with great airs, and all his might, so that he jumped a foot over George, but up to the oxters in clean dung! whereat the whole multitude of spectators cried out with huzzas and laughter. Now, says George, I told you we would end in and about where we began, and that is in clean dirt.

2. On a time after this, the king and his court were going into the country, and they would have George to ride before them in the fool's dress: whereunto he seemed unwilling, but it was the king's pleasure. So George was mounted upon an old horse, with a pair of old riven boots, the heels hanging down, and a palmer coat, patched over with pictures of divers kinds. George rode before them in this posture, which caused great laughter and diversion, until they came to an inn, where they alighted to dine, and in the time they were at dinner, George went into the stables, and with a knife cut all their horses' chafts, not sore, but so as they might bleed. Now, as soon as dinner was over, and they mounted on their horses again, George riding before this as usual, in his palmer coat and old boots, they began to make their game of him. Then George turning around suddenly, and clapping his hands with loud laughter, the king asked him what made him laugh so. Laugh, says George, how can I but laugh, when horses cannot hold their peace? Oh! my sovereign, says he, don't you see how your horses have rent their chaff-