Page:What will he do with it.djvu/663

Rh per's guilty head, and fixing his bright soft eye, swimming in tears, on that downcast, gloomy face, "you repent! you repent! Yes; call back your ! call it back! Let it stand before you, now, visible, palpable! Lo! I see it! Do not you? Fearless, joyous Image! Wild, lawless, willful, as you say! Wild from exuberant life; lawless as a bird is free, because air is boundless to untried, exulting wings; willful from the ease with which the bravery and beauty of Nature's radiant Darling forced way for each jocund whim through our yielding hearts! Silence! It is there! I see it, as I saw it rise in the empty air when guilt and ignominy first darkened round you; and my heart cried aloud, 'Not on him, not on him—not on that glorious shape of hope and promise—on me, whose life, useless hitherto, has lost all promise now—on me let fall the shame!' And my lips obeyed my heart, and I said, 'Let the law's will be done—I am the guilty man!' Cruel—cruel one! Was that sunny Boyhood then so long departed from you? On the verge of youth, and such maturity in craft and fraud—that when you stole into my room that dark winter eve, threw yourself at my feet, spoke but of thoughtless debts, and the fears that you should be thrust from an industrious honest calling, and I—I said—'No, no; fear not; the head of your firm likes you; he has written to me; I am trying already to raise the money you need: it shall be raised, no matter what it cost me; you shall be saved; my Lizzy's son shall never know the soil of a prison; shun temptation henceforth; be but honest, and I shall be repaid!' What! even them you were coldly meditating the crime that will make my very grave dishonored!"

"Meditating—not so! How could I? Not till after what had thus passed between us, when you spoke with such indulgent kindness, did I even know that I might more than save myself—by moneys—not raised at risk and loss to you! Remember, you had left me in the inner room, while you went forth to speak with Gunston. There I overheard him talk of notes he had never counted, and might never miss; describe the very place where they were kept; and then the idea came to me irresistibly; 'better rob him than despoil my own generous father.' Sir, I am not pretending to be better than I was. I was not quite the novice you supposed. Coveting pleasures or shows not within my reach, I had shrunk from draining you to supply the means; I had not had the same forbearance for the superfluous wealth of others. I had learned with what simple tools old locks may fly open; and none had ever suspected me, so I had no fear of danger, small need of premeditation; a nail