Page:Wee Willie Winkie, and other stories (1890).djvu/77

Rh "Ho! 'Said you might be a bloomin' non-combatant, did 'e? That's just wot 'e would say. When I've put in my boy's service—it a bloomin' shame that doesn't count for a pension—I'll take on as a privit. Then I'll be a Lance-Corpril in a year—knowin' what I know about the ins an' outs o' things. In three years I'll be a bloomin' Sergeant. I won't marry then, not I! I'll 'old on and learn the orf'cers ways, an' apply for exchange into a reg'ment that doesn't know all about me. Then I'll be a bloomin' orfcer. Then I'll ask you to 'ave a glass o' sherry-wine, Mister Lew, and you'll bloomin' well 'ave to stay in the hantyroom while the Mess-Sergeant brings it to your dirty 'ands."

" 'Spose I'm going to be a Bandmaster? Not I, quite. I'll be an orf'cer, too. There's nothin' like taking to a thing an' stickin' to it, the School-master says. The reg'ment don't go 'ome for another seven years. I'll be a Lance then or near to."

Thus the boys discussed their futures, and conducted themselves with exemplary piety for a week. That is to say, Lew started a flirtation with the Colour-Sergeant's daughter, aged thirteen—"not," as he explained to Jakin, "with any intention o' matrimony, but by way o' keepin' my 'and in". And the black-haired Cris Delighan enjoyed that flirtation more than previous ones, and the other drummer-boys raged furiously together, and Jakin preached sermons on the dangers of "bein' tangled along o' petticoats".

But neither love nor virtue would have held Lew long in the paths of propriety had not the rumour gone abroad that the Regiment was to be sent on active service, to take part in a war which, for the sake of brevity, we will call, "The War of the Lost Tribes".

The barracks had the rumour almost before the Mess-room, and of all the nine hundred men in barracks not ten had seen a shot fired in anger. The Colonel had, twenty years ago, assisted at a Frontier expedition; one of the Majors had seen service at the Cape; a confirmed deserter in E. Company had helped to clear streets in Ireland; but that was all. The