Page:Way to wealth, or, Poor Richard's maxims improved.pdf/20

 If you would effectually counteract your own attempts to do well, be a drunkard; and you will not be disappointed.

If you wish to repel the endeavours of the whole human race to raise yon to character, credit, and prosperity, be a drunkard; and you will assuredly triumph.

If you are determined to be poor, be a drunkard; and you will soon be ragged and pennyless.

If you would wish to starve your family, be a drunkard; for that will consume the means of their support.

If you would be spunged on by knaves, be a drunkard; and that will make their task easy.

If you wish to be robbed, be a drunkard; which will enable the thief to do it with more safety.

If you wish to blunt your senses, be a drunkard; and you will soon be more stupid than an ass.

If you would become a fool, be a drunkard ; you will soon lose your understanding.

If you wish to incapacitate yourself for rational intercourse, be a drunkard ; for that will render you wholly unfit for it.