Page:Way to wealth, or, Poor Richard's maxims improved, &c..pdf/18

Rh If you wish to repel the endeavours of the whole human race to raise you to character, credit, and prosperity, be a drunkard; and you will assuredly triumph.

If you are determined to be poor, be a drunkard; and you will soon be ragged and pennyless.

If you would wish to starve your family, be a drunkard; for that will consume the means of their support.

If you would be spunged on by knaves, be a drunkard; and that will make their task easy.

If you wish to be robbed, be a drunkard; which will enable thothe [sic] thief to do it with more safety.

If you wish to blunt your senses, be a drunkard; and you will soon be more stupid than an ass.

If you would become a fool, be a drunkard; and you will soon lose your understanding.

If you wish to incapaeitateincapacitate [sic] yourself for rational intercourse, be a drunkard; for that will render you wholly unfit for it.

If you wish all your prospects in life to be clouded, be a drunkard; and they will be dark enough.

If you would destroy your body, be a drunkard; as drunkenness is the mother of disease.

If you mean to ruin your soul, be a drunkard that you may be excluded from heaven.

If you are resolved on suicide, be a drunkard; that being a sure mode of destruction.

If you would expose both your folly and secrets, be a drunkard; and they will soon run out while the liquor runs in.

If you are plagued with great bodily strength, be a drunkard; and it will soon be subdued by so powerful an antagonist.

If you would get rid of your money without