Page:Watty and Meg, or, the wife reclaimed.pdf/24

 24 M'Nab said when he cam' in at the winning post at Perth races-By the lord, this is me now, but I canna' exclaim wi' the Laird M'Nab,—for, by my faith, this is no me! no me!--but there's yae thing I can see, that if I'm John Tamson, I've lost a horse; but if I'm no John Tamson, I've found a cart. But how will I find out this? I'll just awa' hame to the wife, for she settles a' my accounts; she'll settle this Weel, awa' hame he comes,geyan briskly, and he's no lang till he's at his ain door; and he cries out, “ Am I John Tamson ?" Mrs. Tamson puts o'er her hand to find for honest John,-“Na, na," quo' she, "ye're no John Tamson, he's awa to his wark twa or three hours syne." "Od, I'm glad o' that," quo' he, "for if I had been John Tamson, I would have lost a horse; but, as I'm no John Tamson, lord, I've found a cart!"

TAKING IT OUT OF HIS MOUTH. A. placid minister, near Dundee, preaching about the prophet Jonah said: “Ken ye, brethren, what fish it was that swallowed him! Aiblins ye may think it was a shark; nae, nae, my brethren, it was nae snark; or aiblins ye may think it was a saumon; nae, nae, my brethren, it was nae saumon; or aib- lins ye may think it was a dolphin; nae, nae, my brethren, it was nae dolphin." Here, an auld woman, thinking to help her pastor out of a dead lift, cried out," Aiblins, Sir, it was a dunter (the vulgar name of a species of whale common to the Scotch coast. " Aiblins, Madam, ye're an auld witch for taking the word o' God out o' my mouth," was the reply of the disappointed rhetorician.