Page:Watty and May, or, The wife reclaimed.pdf/17

17 NEW WAY OF RAISING THE WIND ;

OR

HABBIE SIMPSON AND HIS WIFE.

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[This highly humorous and truly Scottish production celebrates an adventure of the renowned Habbie Simpson, which actually occurred. Habbie appears to have been rather a privileged character, for besides being the best piper in the west country, he was possessed of many eccentricities, the oddity and originality of which always rendered him a welcome and amusing companion. That he was regarded as no common character may be inferred from the fact that a statue of him, pipes and all, was erected in a prominent niche of the steeple of Kilbarchan, his native village, where it yet stands a very significant testimony of the esteem in which he was held. ]

I pit nae doubt but ye’ve a’ heard tell o’ Habbie Simpon, the piper o’ Kilbarchan ; but I’m no thinking ye ever heard the story that I’m gaun to tell ye aboot him and his wife, Janet. Weel, ye see, it sae happened that Habbie, like mony mare now-a-days, was geyan fond o’ a wee drap o’ the blue, and as the story gangs, sae was his wife, so that it geyan often happened that when Habbie, yokit the fuddle, Janet she yokit it tae. Noo, it’s an auld saying, and geyan true ane, tae, that when a cannel is lichtit at baith ends, it sune burns dune, and it was sae verified in the present case : for Habbie waukened ae morning after a fuddle, and says to Janet—“ Rise woman, and see if ye can get me half-a-gill, for, oh ! my head is like to split.” “Half-a-gill?” quo Janet, “ Whaur wad I gel it when there’s no a plack in the house ? and as for takin’nt on, ye ken that’s clean oot o’ the question, so ye maun just lie still and thole the best way you can.” “Oh, Janet,” cries Habbie again, “ You’re no amiss at schem- ing—is there nae way ava ye can think on to raise the wind!” “I’ll tell ye what I’ll do,” quo’ Janet, “I’ll awa to the Laird o’ Johnstone, and I’ll tell him that ye’re deid, and as you’re a great favourite o’ his, I’m sure I’ll get something frae him to help tae bury ye.” “ Od, but that will do grand,” quo’ Habbie. Sae up Janet gets