Page:Under the Microscope - Swinburne (1899).djvu/109

 What was said? what was done? was there prosing or rhyming? Was nothing noteworthy in deed or in word?— Why, just as the hour of the supper was chiming, The only event of the evening occurred. Up jumped, with his neck stretching out like a gander, Master Swinburne, and squealed, glaring out thro' his hair, "All Virtue is bosh! Hallelujah for Landor! I disbelieve wholly in everything!—There!"

With language so awful he dared them to treat 'em,— Miss Ingelow fainted in Tennyson's arms. Poor Arnold rushed out, crying "Sœcl' inficetum!" And great bards and small bards were full of alarms; Till Tennyson, flying and red as a gypsy, Struck his fist on the table and uttered a shout: "To the door with the boy! Call a cab! He is tipsy!" And they carried the naughty young gentleman out.

After that, all the pleasanter talking was done there,— Who ever had known such an insult before? The Chairman tried hard to rekindle the fun there, But the Muses were shocked and the pleasure was o'er. Then "Ah!" cried the Chairman, "this teaches me knowledge,— The future shall find me more wise, by the powers! This comes of assigning to younkers from college Too early a place in such meetings as ours!"