Page:Two Mock Epics (Hanuman and Tantum Religio), Lyrics, Post Meridian Verse, The Turret Captain's Toast and other Verses.pdf/81

 Trinacria’s chillier twin, may stand

Comparison with Arva Pharphar,

Troy, Islington, Jerusalem,

With th’ Hiawathian Minnehaha

Or Milton’s other place—ahem!

Choose any other fit comparative,

For now I must set forth my narrative.

Arrived (no easy task), he chartered

A room,—for though the town is squalid,

Scarce lighted by petroleum dips,

And with a cobbled pavement trips

The churl from market late returning,

Till his lop-sided goitre skips

Out of his baggy vest, his wallet’s

Much hungrier paunch and scantier earning

To make acquaintance with—Most solid

Is the true faith of its inhabitants

In masses, popes and heavenly hopes

And suchlike gear, so that like rabid ants

Dragging their eggs this way and that,

If you should squash their ant-hill flat,

Its starving female wens swarm altar-wards,

At holy Mary’s shrine to falter words

Of prayer, their neck balloons removed,

May be; prayers mixed with priest-approved

Promises of fat capon-boons,

Or in default of these cocoons

And such brave knick-knacks slid down planes

Of inclined deal, from th’ iron screen

Outside which Goitre writhes and strains

In pious ecstacy to where within

The virgin puppet, dressed in green,