Page:Two Mock Epics (Hanuman and Tantum Religio), Lyrics, Post Meridian Verse, The Turret Captain's Toast and other Verses.pdf/106

 But like all true religion, costly:

Whence it befel, religion’s coffers

(To the delight of Atheist scoffers)

Grew lean and empty, and were mostly

Now tenanted by shekels ghostly

Instead of those of parts more sensible

For pious needs, propagating creeds,

And filling friars quite indispensable.

This state anæmic—they would here

Denominate it Carestia—

Was partly due to Pat’s profusion

Ere the new tariff-law’s diffusion

To his finances brought confusion,

And dragged him down with empty pockets

To misery and a four-cent. lodging:

Pat, Romeward every dollar sending,

Fanned with his faith the rage for spending,

Till heaven was fairly stormed by rockets,

And cherubs spent their time in dodging

The missiles shot from earth to show

The heavenly road to clods below.

In part the crash of Rome’s finances—

Rather its general undoing—

Was due to Popish ways of viewing

Expenses and the law of chances.

“If what we spend,” ’twas urged, “enhances

The obol’s flow from rustic purses

To more than cost of stimulus

The future gain tis clear reverses

Our present loss: or put it thus,

If every squib we let off fill

The gaping peasant with a zeal