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Rh a sort of justification for what I mean to do. And, if I'm wrong and it doesn't turn out as I think, then you'll forgive me, won't you? For I'm quite in earnest now."

"My darling. . . ."

"Who can tell me for certain that I am mistaken, Mamma, and that I have not that absolute conviction deep down in my soul? It is a wonderful thing to have an absolute conviction like that about yourself. I would almost say that to be certain about other people . . . is not so wonderful as to be certain about yourself. . . . But still . . . but still . . . I feel that this is my vocation. Who can deny the existence of what I feel so very plainly within me, even though I am sometimes amazed at my own consciousness of it? . . . I know, Mamma, that all this sounds very strange and that I am not talking like a boy of my age. But that is because I am being very, very confidential and letting you know my most private thoughts. . . . It is so calm and peaceful out here this evening, Mamma, and the stars are shining so bright, as if they knew everything for quite certain. I . . . I do not know for certain: I only feel. . . and I wish. And I am telling you my most private thoughts, just freely and in the strictest confidence, so that you may not be unhappy. . . ."

A thrill of tenderness went through her.

"Darling, I am not unhappy."