Page:Tragical history of Jane Arnold (2).pdf/23



A convict escaped from prison by jumping out of a window. He came down upon the head of a molasses hogshead, which broke and let him in up to the middle. "Faith," said he, as he scrambled out, "I have often heard of the swates of liberty, but I never knew what it meant before."

The master had two beautiful English horses, and he wanted a careful man to drive them; he was a mighty pleasant gintleman, and he loved a jokojoke [sic]. Well, there was plenty after the place; and the first that went up to him, "Now, my man," says he, "tell me how near the edge of a precipice would you undertake to drive my carriage?" So the boy considers, and he says, says he, "Within a foot, plaze your honor, and no harm" "Very well," says hohe [sic], "go down, and I'll givogive [sic] ye yer answer by-and-bye." So the next came up, and said he'd be bound to carry 'em within half a foot; and the next said five inches; and another-a dandified chap intirely - was so mighty nice, that he would drive it within threothree [sic] inches and a half, he'd go bail. Well, at last my turn came; and when his honor axed mome [sic] how nigh I would drive his carriage to a precipice, I says, says I, "Plaze yer honor, I'd keep as far off as I could. "Very well, Misther Byrne," says he, "you're my coachman," says he. Och! the roar there was in the kitchen when I went down and told the joke.