Page:Top-Notch Magazine, May 1 1915 (IA tn 1915 05 01).pdf/106

 glanced at the prisoners as he seated himself at the table opposite the clerk and adjusted his spectacles to read the complaint.

"Hats off!" he ordered, rapping with his knuckles. "John Doe and Richard Roe, by the complaint of a deputy sheriff and two constables, by the town of Greenbush duly and legally authorized, you are hereby charged with catawamping a hossless vehicle over a public highway, lying within the town limits, at a speed of forty miles an hour, thereby rupturing the law made and provided, and wantonly and willfully endangering the peace and safety of other persons who might find it necessary to locomote upon said highway.

"According to the complaint," the judge continued, "the before-mentioned Richard Roe was the driver, and the before-mentioned John Doe the owner, of said hossless vehicle at the time of the infraction of said law. That being the fact, the penalty administered, in case the charge is admitted or proven, will be applied in full to the person who was engaged in piloting the juggernaut when you was nabbed. And let me add that in this court, with the exception of the judge presiding, unnecessary talk is a luxury, and luxuries add to the high cost of living. A word to the wise is a seed sown upon good ground that springeth up and beareth the fruit of economy. Richard Roe, guilty or not guilty?"

Biting his lip with annoyance, the younger of the two prisoners started to protest: "It was necessary—er—your honor, that we should catch the westward-bound train at Albion. If you we're aware who we are, who your petty officers, hiding like highwaymen in ambush, had ventured to hold up"

Again Judge Wiggin's knuckles smote the desk. "Apparently," he said, "my observation regarding the expense of unnecessary talk in this court failed to sink in, or even to make a dent. No excuse of private necessity condones infractions of the law. Your careless remark, as well as the suspicious nature of the names you have given, leads me to believe that you are pirooting around the country under false colors, and makes it rather probable that you are old offenders trying in that way to dodge the extreme penalty the court might see fit to administer if your real identities was known. I shall bear this in mind in passing sentence."

The grinning spectators tittered guardedly. The older man reached out and placed a hand on his companion's knee.

"You can see that you are simply making matters worse," he whispered. "Anything you may say will be used against us. Plead guilty at once."

Squirming and rebellions, Hitchens complied. However, instead of passing sentence without delay, the judge squared away on his chair, locked the fingers of his hands before him, and proceeded to read the culprits a lengthy lecture anent the rights of the common people upon the highways and the outrageous and criminal manner in which these rights were disregarded by automobilists in general.

During this scathing harangue he scarcely looked at either of the impatient and suffering victims, but kept his gaze fixed, for the most part, on the rafters above their heads. He was the possessor of a fluent flow of language, and a somewhat homely native wit that was keen and stinging; and certain it was that his vituperation was in no degree delicately barbed. Even the self-restraint of the elder man was tested to the limit.

And presently, when the fine of twenty-five dollars and costs—twenty-eight dollars and thirty cents, all told—had been inflicted and paid over, the owner of the motor car released the safety valve.

"Judge Wiggin," he said, "I'm com-