Page:Tom Lehrer song lyrics (website).pdf/88



All day long you whine and whimper, Sighing sighs and looking vague, Fold your arms and look tormented (And) hide as if you had the plague.

War-bl-ing pathetic love songs, Tossing in your sleep at night, Weeping [sob] --- just as if you'd lost your mother, Fasting with no appetite.

Once you used to laugh at lovers When they spoke of how it feels, Weeping [sob] --- only when you needed money, Fasting only between meals.

You may be my master, But look how you behave! Love is the master now, You are the slave.

Valentine: Go to, sir. Tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?

Speed: She that your worship loves?

Valentine: Why, how know you that I am in love?

Speed: Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms like a malcontent, to relish a love-song like a robin-redbreast, to walk alone like one that had the pestilence, to sigh like a schoolboy that had lost his A B C, to weep like a young wench that had buried her grandam, to fast like one that takes diet, to watch like one that fears robbing, to speak puling like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money And now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.