Page:Tom Lehrer song lyrics (website).pdf/72



If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am I'm a brilliant math'matician (also something of a ham) I have tried for numerous degrees, in fact, I've one of each Of course that makes me eminently qualified to teach I understand the subject matter thoroughly, it's true And I can't see why it isn't all as obvious to you Each lecture is a masterpiece, meticulously planned Yet everybody tells me that I'm hard to understand
 * And I can't think why!

My diagrams are models of true art, you must agree And my handwriting is famous for its legibility Take a word like "minimum" (to choose a random word) For anyone to say he cannot read that is absurd The anecdotes I tell get more amusing every year Though, frankly, what they go to prove is sometimes less than clear And all my explanations are quite lucid, I am sure Yet everybody tells me that my lectures are obscure
 * And I can't think why!

Take differentiation, it's as simple as can be, Like finding the derivative of tangent x --- let's see --- It's tangent squared --- No, secant squared --- No, just secant, I bet. The sign in front is plus --- or is it minus? I forget --- Well, it does have a derivative, of that there is no doubt. All these formulas are trivial if you only think them out Yet students tell me, "I have memorized the whole year through Ev'rythng you've told us, but the problems I can't do."
 * And I can't think why!