Page:Tom Lehrer song lyrics (website).pdf/71



If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am I'm a genius and a physicist (and something of a ham) I have tried for numerous degrees, in fact, I've one of each Of course that makes me eminently qualified to teach I understand the subject matter thoroughly, it's true And I can 't see why it isn't all as obvious to you My lectures all are masterpieces, excellently planned Yet everybody tells me that I'm hard to understand
 * And I can't think why!

My diagrams are models of true art, you must agree And my handwriting is famous for its legibility When I write "gravitation" (scrawls on blackboard), say, or any other word For anyone to say he cannot read it is absurd My demonstrations all get more amazing every year Though, frankly, what they go to prove is sometimes less than clear And all my explanations are quite lucid, I am sure Yet everybody tells me that my lectures are obscure
 * And I can't think why!

Consider, for example, oscillation of a spring The force that acts upon it is a very simple thing It's kx3 --- or kx2 --- no, just kx, I'll bet The sign in front is plus - or is it minus?, I forget Well, anyway, there is a force, of that there is no doubt All these problems are quite trivial if you only think them out Yet people tell me, "I have memorized the whole term through Everything you've told us, but the problems I can't do."
 * And I can't think why!