Page:Tom Beauling (1901).pdf/31

 took a sip, and then, balancing the glass on the chair arm, continued:

"One day there was a wet snow falling, and nothing but hopelessness in the world. And a man came into my life. He only meant to be friendly; I know that. And we were just good friends. He helped me through the winter, and I took his help because I promised myself that I would pay him back—every penny. And we were just good friends for a long, long time. And when we stopped being that, it was all my fault. I got to care about him, you see. I got to care about him. Then I got a part in a melodrama that was going on the road—but it was too late.

"So you see I made life very terrible for myself. People don't realize how terrible a look can be. I got plenty of terrible looks, and from worse women than I was. And I made up my mind one night—we were on board the City of Cleveland, going to Detroit—that when the rest had gone to bed I would get out through my stateroom window, and over the rail,