Page:Tolstoy - Tales from Tolstoi.djvu/24

Biography him a feeling of hatred. The moral tone of the distinguished circle in which he moved was low indeed. Looking back upon this melancholy period of his life at a later day he remarks (in his "Ispovyed" or Confession), that whenever he tried to be morally good he encountered contempt and laughter, but whenever he gave himself up to pleasant vices he was applauded and encouraged. His good aunt, whom he describes as "the purest of women," frequently told him that she esired nothing so much for him as a liaison with a married woman, and it was the dearest wish of her heart that he should become the Emperor's adjutant, wed a rich girl, and have lots of slaves. Most of his brothers, according to Professor Zagoskin, showed no sign of moral restraint (especially Sergius, who subsequently ran away with a gipsy), with the exception of Demetrius, a mystical ascetic, who went to the opposite extreme, spent half his time on his knees, and could only be persuaded to go to a ball when the biblical example of King David, dancing before the Ark, was urged upon him. As for Lev Tolstoi himself, religion had so little weight with him at this time that when a casual companion lightly remarked that praying was both unnecessary and ridiculous, he cast aside the habit with as little concern as if he were simply "brushing a piece of fluff off his coat-sleeve." Under these circumstances it is scarcely surprising to learn that he learnt but little of value at Kazan. History he already despised as "a tissue of legends and trifles generally unnecessary and often immoral." The juridical Faculty he despised because all its xvi.