Page:Tolstoy - Essays and Letters.djvu/204

 188 ESSAYS AND LETTERS

Resistances but it is this, Do you, who to-day live and to-morrow will die — who are indeed tending deathward every moment — do vou wish now, immediately and entirely, to obey the law of Him who sent you into life, and who clearly showed you His will alike in tradition and in vour mind and heart ; or do you prefer to resist his will ? And as soon as the question is put thus, only one reply is possible — I wish now, this moment, without delay or hesitation, to the very utmost of my strength, neither waiting for anyone nor counting tlie cost, to do that which alone is clearly demanded by Him who sent me into the world ; and on no account, and under no conditions, do I wish to, or can I, act otherwise, for herein lies my only possibility of a rational and unharassed life.

[January 12, o.s., 1896.]