Page:Thus Spake Zarathustra - Alexander Tille - 1896.djvu/433

 THE SHADOW

��399

��with head and heart. Oh, how often have I stood naked, red like a crab through so doing !

Alas, whither hath gone all that is good and all shame and all belief in the good ! Alas, whither hath gone that deceitful innocence I once possessed, the innocence of the good and of their noble falsehoods !

Too often, verily, I followed truth close on its heel. Then it kicked me on the forehead. Sometimes I thought I lied, and behold ! only then did I hit upon truth !

Too many things were made clear unto me. Now it concerneth me no more. Nothing of what I love liveth any longer, why should I love myself still ?

'To live, as I like, or to live not at all,' thus I will, thus even the holiest one willeth. But alas ! how do / still like ?

Have / still a goal ? A harbour for which my sail is trimmed ?

A good wind ? Alas, only he who knoweth whither he saileth, knoweth also what wind is good, and what is his fair wind.

What is left unto me ? A heart weary and insolent ; an unstable will ; fluttering wings ; a broken back-bone.

This seeking after my home, O Zarathustra, knowest thou ? this seeking was my punishment, it eateth me up.

' Where is my home ? ' Thus I ask and seek and have sought. I have found it not. Oh, eternal Every- where ! Oh, eternal Nowhere ! Oh, eternal In-vain ! "

�� �