Page:Theparadiseoftheholyfathers.djvu/287

 Now after he had gone in and had, according to custom, prayed, and sat down, the young man compared the things which had taken place with those which he had written down in his mind, and he waited for a right issue to all [the rest]. Then, being full of gladness, the old man urged him repeatedly to partake of food, but the young man answered and said unto him, “My lord, I beseech thy holiness to permit me first of all to speak openly, and to make known to thy fatherly nature the reason of my coming, and if through the working of God thou wilt make thyself the perfecter of my desire, and of my thoughts, whatsoever thy holiness and thy meekness shall command me [to do] I will perform strenuously.” Now when the old man had heard these things, he answered and said unto him, “Thou hast full power to say everything which thou wishest, joyfully and fearlessly, as unto thy father who, according to his power, in great love, is ready to fulfil thy desire by the help of God.” Then, after these words, which the old man spake in simplicity (now none of the thoughts of the young man had entered into his mind), the young man made clearly manifest before the old man the matters which he had marked out and decided upon in his mind from the beginning of his actions in the city even until that very hour.

And when the old man had heard all these things he was greatly moved and disturbed, because he remembered his own former acts and life, and because he was held in contempt by his conscience by reason of the conditions and circumstances under which he was then living, and because that by reason of these he was unable to promise to fulfil the works of which he had [then] no knowledge whatsoever, [and he was afraid] and excused himself from the task. And when he considered his own feebleness, and the greatness of the matter concerned, and the strenuousness and readiness of the young man, and the many other reasons which he called to mind, he was ashamed to reveal to the young man the true reason for his refusal, yet nevertheless, because of it, he said that he was unable to act [for him]; but the young man dismissed his objections and made an end of them, and he shewed [him] that they all were insufficient to drive him away from the old man, and to do away the fervent desire and aim which were in his mind. Then the old man felt compelled to make plainly manifest before him the true reason for his refusal and to shew him that it was not a mere matter of a report of words, but one which could be seen by the actual sight of the eyes. And wishing to fulfil his intention [of shewing] that the true reason was not a mere excuse, or one which was fabricated like those which he had previously given, and that it was indeed a true