Page:The woman in battle .djvu/515

Rh In fact, there is a secret history of the war, records of which have never been committed to paper, and which exists only in the memories of a limited number of people. That this secret history will ever be written out with any degree of fulness is scarcely possible, for reasons that will readily be understood; but some idea of what it will be like, should it ever be written, may be gathered from these pages. When I concluded to give to the public a narrative of my adventures, I determined to make it as complete as possible, so far as I myself was concerned, for, during the whole four years I neither said nor did anything that I am not willing the world should know. With regard to my associates, Confederates and others, who were mixed up with me in certain transactions, the case, however, is different. I deem it proper, in certain cases, to refrain from mentioning their names, as many of them are still living, and might yet get into trouble through my utterances. I kept faith with them when we were acting together, and will do so still, although some of them were villains of the blackest dye, who richly deserve any punishment that the law against which they offended is capable of inflicting upon them.

Having consented to make a trip to the West Indies, I commenced my preparations immediately, and was soon as deeply engaged in commercial matters as I had recently been in some of not quite so peaceful a character. Having once got started, I speedily found trade, and especially this kind of trade, quite as exciting as warfare, while it had certain attractions, in the way of prospective profits, that fighting certainly did not possess.

I had some few transactions with Philadelphia houses, but they were none of them very important, and most of my fit ting out was done in New York, where I, and those with whom I was connected, labored for a number of weeks, with all possible zeal, being resolved to make the venture a profit able one for ourselves, as well as of advantage to the Confederacy. The first thing done was the chartering of a schooner and the engaging of a warehouse. In this warehouse our goods were stored until we were ready to load. The watchman was perfectly aware that we were engaging in contraband traffic,