Page:The woman in battle .djvu/187

Rh and it taxed the energies of officers and men to the utmost to achieve the defeat of the enemy, it was a very different thing from defending a series of earthworks from a combined attack, by land and water, in the dead of winter. I had seen much of war and its horrors since the battle of Bull Run, and better comprehended now what serious work it was, and what enormous labor would have to be performed, if the hopes and expectations of the summer were to be realized. In fact, I appreciated the situation from the stand point of a veteran, rather than from that of the raw recruit. Of enthusiasm, or, at least, such enthusiasm as that by which I was originally inspired, I had little or nothing; but I had hope and determination, and was as much bent upon doing my very best as I was the day I was first under fire. There was something most depressing, however, in the idea of figuring in a desperate conflict in midwinter. The whole proceeding seemed unseasonable, and this peculiar feeling, combined with a singular sense of discomfort and constraint at being shut in fortifications from which there was next to no escape, except by driving off the enemy, or surrendering to him, had a powerful effect in dampening my ardor.

At the first intimation of these unpleasant feelings coming over me, however, I shook them off with all the resolution I could command, and determined to show myself in every way worthy of the garments I wore, by doing a full man's work, in preparing for the expected attack. There was a great deal that had to be done, and done quickly, in the way of completing the intrenchments, and I made up my mind to lend a hand, as I felt sure that volunteers would be welcome when hard labor like this was to be performed, even if they were not regarded with the best favor by those in authority at other times. My boy Bob and I, therefore, went into the trenches, and commenced to shovel dirt with all possible energy and good will. In the execution of such a task as this, Bob soon proved himself to be a much better man than I was, and he easily threw two shovelfuls to my one, and was apparently in