Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/408

4ft t FAMILIAR COLLOQUIES. the chiefest good, that makes a man happy. Sp. I am almost con- vinced. He. Now do but mind how vastly wide they are from pleasure who, as is commonly accounted, follow nothing but pleasures. First of all, their minds are polluted and vitiated with the leaven of lusts, that if anything that is pleasant happens, it presently grows bitter; for when a fountain is muddy the stream will not run clear. Again, that pleasure ia no true pleasure that is received with a dis^ ordered mind, for there is nothing more pleasant to an angry man than revenge; but that pleasure is turned into pain as soon as the disease has forsaken the mind. Sp. I do not deny that.

He. But lastly, these pleasures proceed from false goods, whence it follows that they are but cheats; for what would you say if you saw a man under a delusion by magical arts, to drink, dance, clap his hands, when there was nothing really there that he thought he saw 1 Sp. I should say he was- both mad and miserable. He. I was once present at such a spectacle; there was a certain priest skilled in magic. Sp. He did not learn that from the Holy Scriptures. He. From the most unholy ones. Some ladies of the court paid a visit to this, priest, inviting themselves to dine with him, and upbraiding him with covet- ousness and niggardliness; at last he consented and gave them an invitation. They came without a breakfast, that they might eat the heartier dinner. The table seemed to be plentifully furnished, and no dainties wanting ; and they fed heartily, and returning their host thanks for his entertainment, went home. But immediately they perceived themselves very hungry, and wondered that they should be so when they had just come from eating so plentifully. At length the matter came out, and they were soundly laughed at. Sp. And they deserved it too; they had better have staid at home and fed upon ordinary fare, than have gone abroad to be feasted with imaginary dainties. He. But, in my opinion, it is far more ridiculous for men in common to grasp at the mere empty shadows of good, instead of the true and substantial goods, and to take a pleasure in those deceits that do not only end in a jest, but in everlasting sorrows. Sp. The more I consider it, the more I am convinced I have spoken to the purpose.

He. Well, let it be allowed for the present that things are called pleasures that really are not so. But would you call that metheglin sweet that has more aloes than honey in it? Sp. No, I should not if there were a third part as much. He. Or would you wish to have the itch, that you might have the pleasure of scratching 1 Sp. No, if I were in my senses. He. Well, then, do but reckon with yourself how nmeh bitterness is mixed with those pleasures falsely so called, which a dishonest love, an unlawful hist, gluttony, and drunkenness produce. At the same time I take no notice of the torment of conscience, enmity with God himself, and the expectation of eternal torment, which are the chiefest things of all. For, pray, do but con- sider what is in these pleasures that does not bring with it a whole troop of eternal evils? Sp. What are they? He. Not to mention covetousness, ambition, wrath, pride, envy, which of themselves are troublesome enough, let iis only compare those things that are in a special manner accounted pleasures.

When hard drinking throws a man into a fever, the headache,