Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/381

THE RICH MISER. 377 upon themselves very dangerous distempers. But when he found me supporting my outward tabernacle, that was fatigued, starved, and dis- tempered, with some knick-knacks that were sold at the confectioners, he sets a physician, a friend and acquaintance of mine, to persuade me to live moderately. The doctor took a great deal of pains with me. I soon perceived he had been set on to do it, so I made him not a word of answer ?

But when he was still urging me very hard, and was always harp- ing on the same string, I said to him, Worthy doctor, pray tell me, are you in jest or in earnest ? Oh, in earnest, said he. Well then, replied I, what would you have me to do 1 Why, to leave off suppers for good and all, and to mix at least one-half water with your wine. I could not forbear laughing at this excellent advice, and said to him, If you want to see me decently laid in a churchyard, you propose a ready way for it ; for I am sure it would be present death to me, in the circum- stances of this poor, lean, dispirited body, to leave off suppers ; and I have tried that so often, that in short I have no mind to make the experiment again. What, pray, do you think would become of me, if, after such dinners as we have here I should go supperless to bed ? And then to bid me mingle water with such weak insipid wine ! pray, tell me, is it not much better to drink clear water from the spring than to debauch it with this sour dreggy stuff? I do not doubt but Orthrogonus put you upon giving me this advice.

At this the doctor smiled, and allowed me better terms. Most learned Gilbert, said he, I did not say this to you, that you should totally leave off eating suppers ; you may eat an egg and drink a glass of wine, for this is my own manner of living. I have an egg boiled for my supper one-half of the yolk I eat myself, and give the other half to my son; then I drink half a glass of wine, and by the help of this refreshment I study till late in the night. Ja. But did this doctor speak the truth 1 Gi. Yes, the very truth ; for as I was once coming home from church, a gentleman that bore me company told me the doctor dwelt there ; I had a mind to see his quarters, so I knocked at the door, and in I went. I remember it was on a Sunday; I found the doctor, his son, and servant at dinner ; the bill of fare was a couple of eggs, and nothing at all else. Ja. Why, sure they must be mere skele- tons. Gi. No ; really they were both plump and in good liking, fresh coloured, their eyes brisk and lively. Ja. I can scarce believe it. Gi. I tell you nothing but what I know to be true. Nay, he is not the only man that lives after this manner, but many others, men of fashion and substance in the world, do the same. Take my word for it, much eat- ing and drinking is rather an effect of custom than that of nature. If a person acciistom himself by little and little, he may come in time to do as much as Milo to eat up an ox in a day's time. Ja. Good God ! if it be possible for a man to preserve his health with so little susten- ance, what a great deal of unnecessary expense are the Germans, English, Danes, and Poles at upon their bellies 1 Gi. A great deal without doubt, and that to the apparent prejudice of their health and understanding.

Ja. But what is the matter that you could not content yourself with that way of living ] Gi. Because I had accustomed myself to another mannei*, and it was too late to alter my way of living then.