Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/379

THE RICH MISER. 37 5 when these fragments of cheese grow a little softer by soaking and seething, they alter the property of the liquor that it is not then fair water. Now this soup is served in as a preparative for the stomach. Ja. This was a soup for saws. Gi, And the next course is a piece of stale tripe that has been boiled a fortnight. Ja. Why, then, it must needs stink. Gi. It does stink, but they have a remedy for that too. Ja. What is that, pray ? Gi. I would tell you, but I am afraid you will put it into practice. Ja,. Ay, marry, sir ! Gi. They would take an egg and beat it up in warm water, and daub the tripe over with the liquor ; and so they put the cheat upon the eye, indeed, but cannot cheat the nose, for the stink will force its way through all. If it hap- pened to be a fish-day, we had sometimes three whitings, and but small ones neither, although there were seven or eight of us at table. Ja. What, nothing else 1 Gi. Nothing bvit that cheese as hard as a stone.

Ja. The oddest epicure I ever heard of. But how could so slender provision be enough for so many guests of you, and especially not hav- ing ate any breakfast 1 Gi. Well, to satisfy you, I tell you that the remainder fed the mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law, the youngest son, a servant-maid, and a litter of children. Ja. Nay, now instead of lessening, you have heightened my admiration. Gi. It is scarce pos- sible for me to explain this difficulty to you, unless I first represent to you in what order we sat at table. Ja. Pray, represent it then. Gi. Antronius, he sat at the upper end of the table, and I sat at his right hand, as being principal guest; over against Antronius sat Orthrogonus; next Orthrogonus, Yerpius ; next to Yerpius, Strategus, a Grecian ; Antronius's eldest son sat at his left hand. If any stranger came to dine with us, he was placed according to his quality. As for the soup, there was no great danger of its being eaten up, nor no great difference in the messes, but only that in the dishes of the principal guests there were some bits of this cheese floating up and down. And besides, there was a sort of barricade made betwixt this soup by bottles of Avine and water, that none but three, before whom the dish stood, could participate, unless he would be impudent indeed, and go beyond his bounds. Nor did this dish stay long there, but was soon taken away, that something might be left for the family.

Ja. What did the rest eat all this while 1 Gi. They regaled themselves after their own fashion. Ja. How was that 1 ? Gi. Why they sopped the chalky bread in that sour, dreggy wine. Ja. Sure your dinner used to be over in a minute. Gi. It oftentimes held above an hour. Ja. How could it be 1 Gi. The soup being taken away, which, as I told you before, might have stood without any great danger, cheese was brought to table, and that ran no great risk, for it was so hard it would bid defiance to a carving-knife. Every man's portion of that dreggy wine and bread stood before him still ; and over these dainties they diverted themselves with telling stories, and in the mean- time the women eat their dinner. Ja. But how did the servants fare in the meantime? Gi. They had nothing in common with us, but dined and supped at their own hours. But this I can tell you, they scarce spent half an hour's time in a whole day at victuals. Ja. But what sort of provision had they ? Gi. You may easily guess that Ja. Your Germans think an hour little enough to breakfast in, and they commonly take as much time to their beaver, an hour and a half at