Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/377

THE RICH MISER. 373 Gi. There is a sort of chalk, not altogether unlike to corn, which you may see horses are delighted with when they gnaw it out of the walls, and drink more freely out of that pond-water where this chalk is to be found. He mixed one-third part at least of this earth with his bread.

Ja. And do you call this curing of it 1

Gi. This is certain, that it made the mustiness of the corn be not altogether so perceivable ; and now, was not this a considerable profit 1 He had another sti-atagem besides that, for he baked his own bread at home, which, in the very midst of summer, he never did oftener than twice in a month. Ja. Sure it must be more like stones than bread for hardness. Gi. Nay, harder than a stone, if possible ; but we had a remedy for that too. Ja. What was that ? Gi. We used to soak slices of this bread in bowls of wine. Ja. The devil a barrel the better herring. But how did the servants like this treatment 1 Gi. I will first tell you how the top folks of the family were served, and then you may easily guess how the servants fared. Ja. I long to hear it. Gi. There was not a word to be mentioned about breakfast, and as for dinner that was generally deferred till one o'clock in the after- noon. Ja. Why so 1 Gi. We waited for the master of the family's coming home, and then we seldom went to supper before ten. Ja. But how did you bear it 1 you used to be very impatient for your victuals. Gi. I called ever and anon upon Orthrogonus, our landlord's son-in-law, who lay upon the same floor with myself : Soho, monsieur, said I, do you make no dining to-day at Synodium 1 He answered, Antronius will be here in a minute. Then finding not the least motion towards dinner, and my guts very mutinous, Hark you, Orthrogonus, said I, do you design to starve us to-day ! Then he would persuade me it was not so late, or put me off with some such pretence. Then, not being able to bear the bawling my bowels made, I interrupted him again : What, do you mean, said I, to starve us to death 1 When he found he had no more excuses to make, he went down to the servants and ordered them to lay the cloth. But at last, when no Antronius came, and dinner seemed to be as far off as ever, Orthrogonus, wearied with the noise I made in his ears, went to the apartment where his wife, and mother, and children were, bidding them get dinner ready.

Ja. Well, now I expect to hear of the dinner. Gi. Pray do not be so hasty. Then there came a lame fellow, just such another as Vulcan, who laid the cloth, for that it seems was his province ; this was the first hope we had of dinner ; and at last, after I had bawled a long time, a glass bottle of fair water is brought in. Ja. Well, now there is more hope. Gi. But I tell you, do not be too hasty. Again, not without a great deal of knocking and calling, in comes a bottle of the wine I spoke of, as thick with dregs as puddle-water. Ja. That is well, however. Gi. But not a bit of bread came along with it, though there was no great danger we should touch it, for scarce anybody would had they been ever so hungry. Then I fell to calling till I was hoarse again ; and at last the bread comes, but such as a bear could scarce bite of. Ja. Well, now there was no danger of starving.

Gi. Late in the aftei-noon home conies Antronius, and generally with this unlucky pretence, that his belly ached. Ja. But what was that to you? Gi. This much, that we were to go suppei'less to bed, for