Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/335

THE FALSE KNIGHT. 331 exactly that he shall not know it from his own. Ne. Either sew them into your garment or leave them iu your pocket, that when you send your clothes to the tailor to mend he may find them, and he will make no secret of it; and when you come to the knowledge of it, put an air of vexation and displeasure on your countenance, as if you were heartily vexed you were so careless as to leave them there. Ha. I have practised that so long that I can as easily change my countenance as I can my dress. Ne. By this means the deceit will not be dis- covered, and the matter will be blazed abroad. Ha. I will be sure to take great care of that.

Ne. Then you must furnish yourself with companions, or servants, who shall stand cap in hand to you, and call you my young lord at every turn. You need not be discouraged at the chai'ge; there are a great many young men who will act this part for nothing, or for the humour's sake. And besides, there are a great many scribbling blades in this country that are strangely infected with the itch (I was going to say the scab) of writing ; and there are hungry printers that will venture at anything, if there be but any hope of getting money. You must bribe some of these to give you in their pamphlets the title of a nobleman of your country, and let it be repeated every now and then in capital letters. Thus they will celebrate you a nobleman iu Bohemia; and one book spreads more than a hundred talkative tongues or prattling servants. Ha. I do not dislike this way neither; but there will be servants to be maintained. Ne. There will so ; but then you must not keep idle servants that have no hands, they will be unprofitable. You must send one one way, and another another, and so they will lay their fingers on something or other; they will have frequent opportunities of doing that. Ha* Say no more : I under- stand you.

Ne. And then there are other inventions. Ha. Pray, let me hear them. Ne. Unless you are an expert gamester at cards and dice, a rank whoremaster, a stout drinker, a daring extravagant, and under- stand the art of borrowing and bubbling, and have got the French pox to boot, scarce any one will believe you to be a knight. Ha. I have been trained up to these exercises. But where must I get the money 1 Ne. Hold, I was coming to that : have you any estate i Ha. A very little one. Ne. "Well, but when you are once settled in the reputation of a great man you will easily find fools that will give you credit; some will be ashamed, and others afraid to deny you; and there are a thousand ways to delude creditors. Ha. I am not un- acquainted with them. But they will be very pressing when they find nothing coming but words. Ne. Nay, on the contrary, no man has his creditors more at command than he that owes money to a great many. Ha. How so 1 Ne. First of all, your creditor pays you that observance as if he was the person obliged, and is afraid lest he should give any occasion of losing his money. No man has his servants so much in awe as the debtor his creditor; and if you ever pay them anything, it is more kindly taken than if you gave it them. Ha. I have found it so.

Ne. But you must take care not to deal with little people, for they will make a great noise for a small matter; those that have a more plentiful fortune are more easy to be appeased ; they will be restrained