Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/331

CYCLOPS; OE, THE GOSPEL CARRIER. 327 is Polyphemus. Ca. But it is ^Egon's office to feed she-goats. Po. But I had rather eat myself. Ca. That is a pleasant wish ; you will sooner be a he-goat than a she one. Po. But I used esse for edere. Ca. Neatly spoken. Do you give liberally to the poor ? Po. I have nothing to give. Ca. But you would have something to give if yoxi lived soberly and took pains. Po. But it is a pleasant thing to live at ease.

Ca. Do you keep the commandments 1 Po. That is a hard task, indeed. Ca. Do you repent of your sins? Po. Christ has made satisfaction for us already. Ca. How is it, then, that you make it out that you love the gospel ? Po. I will tell you ; there was a certain Franciscan with us, who was perpetually thundering out of the pulpit against Erasmus' New Testament. I caught the fellow once by himself, and took him hold by the hair with my left hand, and nubbled him so well-favouredly with my right, that you coxild see no eyes he had for the swellings. What do you say now ? Was not this done like a man that loves the gospel ? And after all this, I gave him abso- lution with this very book, knocking him over his coxcomb three times, made three bunches upon his crown, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and so absolved him in form. Ca. This was evangelically done without question. This is, indeed, a defending one gospel with another. Po. I chanced to light upon another, a brother of his of the same order, who was still railing against Erasmus without either end or measure. My gospel-zeal moved me once again, and I threatened him so severely that I brought him to beg pardon on his knees, and confess that what he said was by the instigation of the devil. I stood over him with my partisan in my hand, looking upon him like the picture of Mars in a battle, ready to have cut off his head if he had not done it readily ; and this was done in the presence of a great many witnesses. Ca. I wonder the man was not frightened out of his wits. But to proceed, do you live chastely] Po. It may be I shall when I come to be old. But shall I tell you the truth, Cannius 1 Ca. I am no priest, and if you have a mind to confess yourself you must seek somebody else.

Po. I use to confess to God, but for once I will do it to you. I am as yet no perfect, but a very ordinary Christian. We have four gospels, and we military gospellers propound to ourselves chiefly these four things : 1st. To take care of our bellies ; 2ndly. That nothing be wanting below ; 3rdly. To have wherewith to live on ; and, lastly, To do what we list. And when we have gained these four points, we drink and sing as if the town was oxxr own, Let the gospel live, and Christ reign. Ca. This is the life of an epicure, not of a Christian. Po. I cannot deny that. But you know Christ is omnipotent, and can make us other men in an instant if He pleases. Ca. Yea, and He may make you swine too, and that seems to be an easier change than into good men. Po. I wish there were no worse things in the world than swine, oxen, asses, and camels. You may find a great many people that are fiercer than lions, more ravenous than wolves, more lustful than camels who will bite worse than dogs, and sting worse than vipers. Ca. Exit it is now high time for yoxx to txxrn from a brute to a man. Po, You say well, for I find in the prophecies of