Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/309

 THE UNEQUAL BANQUET. 305 speak to them with a cheerful countenance, ordering your speech according to each person's age and humour. Sp. I will come nearer to you that I may hear the better. Ap. You understand languages 1 Sp. Yes, most languages. Ap. You must ever and anon speak to every one in his own tongue; and that the entertainment may be the more diverting by a variety of stories, intermix such matters as every one will remember with pleasure, and nobody will be uneasy to hear. Sp. What sort of matters mean you ? Ap. The peculiar differences of dispositions, which you yourself are better versed in ; I will only touch upon some heads. Old men take a pleasure in relating those things that are out of the memory of many persons, and are admirers of those times in which they were in their prime. It is a pleasant thing to a married woman to have the memory of that time refreshed when she was courted by her sweet- hearts. Mariners that have been in divers and far distant countries take a pleasure to tell of those things that they have seen and other people admire at; and according to the proverb, the remembrance of dangers when they are over is very pleasant, if they are such as have nothing opprobrious in them, as in the army, in travels, in the dangers at sea. And in the last place, every one loves to talk of his own call- ing, especially in that part that he excels in. These are some general heads ; as to particular affections it is not possible to describe them ; but, for example sake, one is ambitious of honour, another would be accounted learned, another loves to be taken for a rich man; one is full of talk, another is sparing of his speech ; some will be surly, others, on the other hand, affable ; some do not care to be thought old when they are so, and some would fain be thought older than they are, affecting to be admired for carrying their age well. Some women please themselves mightily in being thought handsome, and some love to be flattered. These dispositions being known, it will be no difficult matter so to intermix speeches as to be pleasing to every one, and to avoid those things that cause uneasiness. Sp. Upon my troth, you are excellently skilled in the art of order- ing an entertainment. Ap* Phoo ! If I had spent as much time and taken as much pains in the study of the law, physic, or divinity, as I have spent upon this art, I had long before now commenced doctor of them. all. Sp. I am of your mind. Ap. But, hark ye, that you may not mistake, you must be sure to take care that your stories be not long-winded ones, and that they do not turn upon drunkenness ; for as there is nothing better than wine drank with moderation, so, on the other hand, there is nothing worse if you drink too much. It is the same in stories. Sp. You say right. But what remedy have you for this 1 Ap. When you perceive any disposed to be quarrelsome, take an opportunity to break off abruptly from what you were saying, and talk of something else. I take it to be unnecessaiy to caution you against bringing any one's affliction to his mind during the time of the enter- tainment. Plato is of opinion that banquets will cure some distempers, the wine driving away sorrow and making persons forget what caused uneasiness to them. But you ought to be cautioned of this, not to salute the guests too often ; yet I would have you walk about some- times, and speak kindly first to one and then to another, for a master