Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/261

TEE RELIGIOUS PILGRIMAGE. 257 since you are of this mind, that you never went to see St. Patrick’s den, of which the people say so many prodigious things that I can scarce think likely to be true. Og. Nay, there is no report of it can be so prodigious but that the thing itself exceeds it. Me. Why, then, did you ever enter into it? Og. Yes, I have ferried over a lake truly Stygian, and descended into the very jaws of Avernus, and seen all that is done in hell. Me. You will bless me if you shall not think much to relate it. Og. I think this preface of our discourse has been prolix enough. I am going home to give order to get supper ready, for I have not dined yet.

Me. Why have you had no dinner? Is it ripon a religious account? Og. No, but oxit of spite. Me. What, do you spite your belly? Og. No, but unconscionable victuallers who, although they serve you with what is not fit to be eaten, make no scruple of demanding for it an unreasonable price. This is the way that I revenge myself on them. If I am in hope of a good supper, either at an acquaintance’s or at an eating-house, that is anything tolerable, my stomach fails me at dinner. If fortune throws in my way a dinner such as I like, then my stomach fails me at supper-time. Me. And are you not ashamed to be so stingy and sneaking? Og. Believe me, Menedemus, in such cases as this those that make use of their modesty employ it to a wrong use. I have learned to keep my bashfulness for other purposes. Me. I do even long for the remainder of your story, and therefore expect me at supper, and there you may tell it more at leisure. Og. In truth, I give you thanks for taking the freedom to invite yourself, when many who are invited with earnestness will not accept of it; but I will thank you over and over if you shall sup at home to-night, for my time will be taken up in congratulating my family. But I have advice to give you that will be more commodious for us both. Do you provide a dinner at your house for me and my wife to-morrow, and I will proceed in my story till supper-time, till you shall say you have your bellyful; and if you are contented so, we will not leave you at supper neithei*. What, do you scratch your head? Do you but make provision, and I will give you my word we will come without fail.

Me. I like stories best gratis. However, come, I will provide a dinner for you, but it shall be an unsavoury one if you do not make it relishing with your stories. Og. But hark ye, have not I set you a-gog to go on pilgrimages? Me. Perhaps you may by that time you have finished your relation, but as I find myself at present I have enough to do to travel my Roman stations. Og. Roman ones, you who never saw Rome? Me. I will tell you after that manner I walk about my house, I go to my study, and take care of my daughter’s chastity; thence I go into my shop and see what my servants are doing, then into the kitchen and see if anything be amiss there; and so from one place to another, what my wife and what my children are doing, taking care that every one be at his business. These are my Roman stations. Og. But St. James would take care of these things for you. Me. The Holy Scriptures enjoin me to look after them myself, but I do not find any text to leave them to the saints.