Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/259

THE RELIGIOUS PILGRIMAGE. 255 These things are shewn to none but great persons or peculiar friends. In the end we were carried back into the vestry. There was pulled out a chest covered with black leather; it was set upon the table and opened. They all fell down on their knees and worshipped. Me. What was in it? Og. Pieces of linen rags, a great many of them retaining still the marks of the snot. These were those, they say, that the holy man used to wipe the sweat off from his face and neck with, the snot out of his nose, or any other such sort of filth which human bodies are not free from.

Here again my Gratian behaved himself in none of the most obliging manners; for the gentle prior offered to him, being an Englishman, an acquaintance, and a man of considerable authority, one of the rags for a present, thinking he had presented him with a very acceptable gift; but Gratian unthankfully took it squeamishly in his fingers, and laid it down with an air of contempt, making up his mouth at it as if he would have smacked it. For this was his custom, if anything came in his way that he would express his contempt to. I was both ashamed and afraid. Nevertheless the good prior, though not insensible of the affront, seemed to take no notice of it; and after he had civilly entertained us with a glass of wine, dismissed us, and we went back to London.

Me. What need was there for that when you were not far from your own shore? Og. I was not, but I industriously shunned that shore, it being more infamous for cheats and rapines than any rocks are for shipwrecks. I will tell you what I saw in my last passage that way. There was a pretty many of us upon the shore of Calais, who were carried thence in a chaloupe to a large ship. Among the rest there was a young Frenchman that was poor and ragged, and they demanded twopence for his passage, for so much they will have if they carry you but a boat’s length. He pleaded poverty. They in a frolic would needs search him, and having pulled off his shoes they find ten or twelve pieces of silver between the soles. They took the money, laughed at him to his face, and bantered the Frenchman as a cheat into the bargain. Me. What did the fellow do then? Og. What should he do but lament his misfortune?

Me. Do they do these things by authority? Og. By the same authority that they steal the baggage of a guest in his inn, or take his purse upon the road, if they find an opportunity. Me. It is very strange that they dare to commit such villainy before so many wit- nesses. Og. They are so used to it that they think they do well in it. There were many in the great ship who looked on, and some English merchants in the boat who grumbled at it, but to no purpose. They boasted of it as a piece of wit in catching the Frenchman in his roguery. Me. I would hang up those coast .thieves, and laugh at them, and banter them at the gallows. Og. Nay, both shores abotind with such fellows. Hence I make this improvement, If the little thieves dare to do thus, what will their masters do? So that I had rather for the future go ever so far about than that shortest way. And besides, as the descent to hell is easy but the return is difficult, so the entrance of this shore is not very easy, and the getting out of it very difficult.

There were at London some skippers belonging to Antwerp, so I