Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/222

 218 FAMILIAE COLLOQUIES. when a certain person, taking notice of his abstaining from wine, said to him, that wine would be very cheap if all men drank as he did ; Nay, says he, in my opinion it would be very dear if all men drank it as I drink, for I drink as much as I please. Ge. I wish our John Botzemus, the canon of Constance, was here; he would look like another Romulus to us : for he is as abstemious as he is reported to have been; but nevertheless, he is a good-humoured, facetious companion. Po. But come on, if you can, I will not say drink and blow, which Plautus says is a hard matter to do; but if you can eat and hear at one and the same time, which is a very easy matter, I will begin the exercise of telling stories, and auspiciously. If the story be not a pleasant one, remember it is a Dutch one. I suppose some of you have heard of the name of Maccns ! Ge. Yes, he has not been dead long. Po. He coming once to the city of Leyden, and being a stranger there, had a mind to make himself taken notice of for an arch trick (for that was his humour) ; he goes into a shoemaker's shop and salutes him. The shoemaker, desirous to sell his wares, asks him what he would buy. Maccus setting his eyes upon a pair of boots that hung up there, the shoemaker asked him if he would buy any boots. Maccus assenting to it, he looks out a pair that would fit him, and when he had found them brings them out very readily, and, as the usual way is, draws them on. Maccus being very well fitted with a pair of boots, How well, says he, would a pair of double-soled shoes agree with these boots ? The shoemaker asks him if he would have a pair of shoes too. He assents; a pair is looked out presently and put on. Maccus commends the boots, commends the shoes. The shoemaker, glad in his mind to hear him talk so, seconds him as he commended them, hoping to get a better price, since the customer liked his goods so well. And by this time they were grown a little familiar ; then says Maccus, Tell me, upon your word, whether it never was your hap, when you had fitted a man with boots and shoes, as you have me, to have him go away without paying for them 1 No, never in all my life, says he. But, says Maccus, if such a thing should happen to you, what would you do in the case? Why, quoth the shoemaker, I would run after him. Then says Maccus, but are you in jest or in earnest] In earnest, says the other, and I would do it in earnest too. Says Maccus, I will try whether you will or no. See I run for the shoes, and you are to follow me, and out he runs in a minute ; the shoemaker follows him immediately as fast as ever he could run, crying out, Stop thief, stop thief. This noise brings the people out of their houses. Maccus. laughing, hinders them from laying hold of him by this device, Do not stop me, says he, we are running a race for a wager of a pot of ale ; and so they all stood still and looked on, thinking the shoemaker had craftily made that outcry that he might have the opportunity to get before him. At last the shoemaker, being tired with running, gives out, and goes sweating, puffing, and blowing home again : so Maccus got the prize. Ge. Maccus indeed escaped the shoemaker, but did not escape the thief. Po. Why so? Ge. Because he earned the thief along with him. Po. Perhaps he might not have money at that time, but paid for them afterwards. Ge. He might have indicted him for a robbery.