Page:The strange experiences of Tina Malone.djvu/82

82 But from that minute I felt as if all the tangles in my mind were being combed out—as if he had the skeins and was setting my mind in order.

And gradually all my fears went. No longer did I feel that I must not say this and I must not say that. He had explained to me that a psycho-analysis was a long and expensive thing and that he had not a class, so that the scandal was all a lie.

It was not long after this when I heard a name that had been given me long ago, "Bunty Blue," come popping in among the voices. He had caught up this name out of my past and it made me smile. How had he known? For it had been given to me by a teasing cousin who had long since vanished.

The wonder of it! How could he read my past like that?

And little by little my mind straightened out and the voices seemed to taunt less and to my great joy one day I found I was able to read again.

The voices never left me, but the fears had gone.

Once, when I was feeling a very wicked little girl, in disgrace for having given way to a fit of temper, alone in my own room, I meditated on my sins. I knew there could have been no one who had been quite so detestable as I had. After having told home-truths to all the family I had rushed away, feeling that there was no place for me in the world—in fact, too disgusted with myself to feel that I had any right there.

Then, as the storm cleared away, there crept in a comforting thought.

"The bad imp! Yes—of course—the bad imp who comforts the other bad people by letting them know that there's someone else as wicked as themselves in the world. If the bad imp hadn't gone through that sorrowful time when she despised herself for being so utterly horrid she would never be able to tell them "Yes, I know how you feel—Isn’t it dreadful? Never mind, get up and begin again. I've been there too, so now you know you're not the only one because I understand. There is a use for me—I'll be the bad imp."