Page:The strange experiences of Tina Malone.djvu/25

Rh "Yes, it goes," I said, "it is just that—I've got most things after I've stopped longing for them. But I wouldn't give up the power to want them, would you? It's the one thing in the whole world I wouldn't part with—imagination—the power to live in a world of my own—the love of romance."

"Yes, the love of romance. It's a dangerous love, little girl, and sometimes costs us dear."

"ItsIt's [sic] worth it," I said, "the thing is to want hard enough, but it's a lovely feeling to want things—generally it's so grey that life isn't worth living. All my life I've wanted something stronger than myself to lean on, and do you know where I've found it?"

She shook her head.

"There."

I pointed to Tony's picture which hung on the wall.

She said nothing, but a hard look came into her eyes and she turned and examined it.

"He's such a dear! Whenever I feel miserable I go in to see him in his book shop and always come away feeling stronger."

She stood silently looking into the picture where it hung on the wall.

But the dreamy mood of philosophy soon left us.

She had a strong spirit of mischief in her—innocent enough—but it used to seize her at times and set her eyes sparkling and her tongue chipping out funny little verses and songs.

I asked Tony over one night to meet her, but she went out and would not come back until he had gone. The White Priestess claimed her.

The White Priestess did not approve of Tony. He was taking another path to heaven and their vibrations did not suit.

He left me a skit—a little pamphlet on occultists he had found, and wrote in it "To The Pagan."

I left it on the sofa. It was a skit on one of the celebrities who, to a great extent, believed in dogma. I left it lying about—a dangerous thing to do if the White Priestess had been anywhere about, but she was not.

"I'm starving for some music. Will you come, Naomi, on Thursday night to the Conservatorium," I asked.

"No, I can't, dear. I don't want to go out till I've paid some of my debts. I'll go anywhere with you as soon as that happens."

So I went alone.

The day before that Naomi and I had had a tiff. I said with a laugh:

"I'm sure I'm going to quarrel."