Page:The life and letters of Sir John Henniker Heaton bt. (IA lifelettersofsi00port).pdf/240

 L. In another place, stamped within a circle, in offensively large capitals, you find the words

Finally, in the midst of a desert space up nor—nor—eastward from that circle you find a figure "3" of quite unnecessarily aggressive and insolent magnitude—and done with a blue pencil, so as to be as conspicuous as possible. I inquired about these strange signs and symbols, of the postman. He said they were P.O. Department signals for his instruction.

"Instruction for what?"

"To hog extra postage."

"It's it so? Explain. Tell me about the large T and the 40."

"It's short for take 40—or as we postman say, hog 40."

"Go on, please, while I think up some words to swear with."

"Due 8 means, hog 8 more."

"Continue."

"The blue pencil 3 was an afterthought. There aren't any stamps for afterthoughts—the sums vary according to inspiration, and they whirl in the one that suggests itself at the last moment. Sometimes they go several times higher than this one. This one only means hog 3 cents more. And so if you've got 51 cents about you, or can borrow it——."

"Tell me: who gets this corruption?"

"Half of it goes to the man in England who ships the letter on short postage, and the other half goes to the P.O.D. to protect cheap postage from inaugurating a deficit."

"!!!"

"I can't blame you; I would say it myself, in your place, if these ladies were not present. But you see I’m only obeying orders, I can't help myself."

"Oh, I know it; I’m not blaming you. Finally, what does that L stand for?"