Page:The genuine remains in verse and prose of Mr. Samuel Butler (1759), volume 2.djvu/204

 light Bread, Highways, and getting of Bastards. His whole Authority is like a Welsh-Hook; for his Warrant is a Puller to her, and his Mittimus a thrust-her from her. He examines bawdy Circumstances with singular Attention, and files them up for the Entertainment of his Friends, and Improvement of the Wit of the Family. Whatsoever he is else, he is sure to be a Squire, and bears Arms the first Day he bears Office; and has a more indubitate and apparent Title to worship, than any other Person. If he be of the long Robe he is more busy and pragmatical on the Bench, than a secular Justice; and at the Sessions, by his Prerogative, gives the Charge, which puts him to the Expence of three Latin Sentences, and as many Texts of Scripture; the rest is all of Course. He sells good Behaviour, and makes those, that never had any, buy it of him at so much a Dose, which they are bound to take off in six Months or longer, as their Occasions require. He is apt to mistake the Sense of the Law, as when he sent a zealous Botcher to Prison for sewing Sedition, and committed a Mountebank for raising the Market, because he set up his Bank in it. Much of his Business and Ability consists in the distributive Justice