Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 9.djvu/398

388 compass of eight hours, three hundred oaths; but, as the putting of the act in execution on those days would only fill the stocks with porters, and pawnshops with muskets and swords; and as it would be matter of great joy to papists, and disaffected persons, to see our militia swear themselves out of their guns and swords; it is resolved that no advantage shall be taken of any militia man's swearing while he is under arms; nor shall any advantage be taken of any man's swearing in the four courts, provided he is at hearing in the exchequer, or has just paid off an attorney's bill.

The medicinal use of oaths is what the undertaker would by no means discourage, especially where it is necessary to help the lungs to throw off any distilling humour. On certificate of a course of swearing prescribed by any physician, a permit will be given to the patient, by the proper officer of the bank, paying no more than sixpence. It is expected, that a scheme of so much advantage to the publick will meet with more encouragement than their chimerical banks; and the undertaker hopes, that as he has spent a considerable fortune in bringing this scheme to bear, he may have the satisfaction to see it take place, for the publick good, though he should have the fate of most projectors, to be undone.

It is resolved, that no compositions shall be made, nor licenses granted, for swearing, under a notion of applying the money to pious uses; a practice so scandalous as is fit only for the see of Rome, where the money arising from whoring licenses is applied ad propagandam fidem: and, to the shame of Smock alley, and of all protestant whores (especially those Rh