Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 9.djvu/284

274 house, if they see a coach stand near the lodging of any loyal member, they call coach, coach, as loud as they can bawl, just at the instant when the footman begins to give the same call. And this is chiefly done on those days, when any point of importance is to be debated. This practice may be of very dangerous consequence; for these boys are all hired by enemies to the government: and thus by the absence of a few members for a few minutes, a question may be carried against the true interest of the kingdom, and very probably not without an eye toward the pretender.

I have not observed the wit and fancy of this town so much employed in any one article, as that of contriving variety of signs, to hang over houses where punch is to be sold. The bowl is represented full of punch; the ladle stands erect in the middle supported sometimes by one, and sometimes by two animals, whose feet rest upon the edge of the bowl. These animals are sometimes one black lion, and sometimes a couple; sometimes a single eagle, and sometimes a spread one; and we often meet a crow, a swan, a bear, or a cock, in the same posture.

Now, I cannot find how any of these animals, either separate or in conjunction, are, properly speaking, fit emblems or embellishments to advance the sale of punch. Besides, it is agreed among naturalists, that no brute can endure the taste of strong liquor, except where he has been used to it from his infancy: and consequently it is against all the rules of hieroglyph, to assign those animals as patrons or protectors of punch. For, in that case, we ought to suppose that the host keeps always ready the real bird or beast, whereof the picture hangs over his door,