Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 9.djvu/278

268 of the greatest enormities, abuses, and corruptions, spread almost through every part of Dublin; and proposing such remedies, as I hope the legislature will approve of.

The narrow compass to which I have confined myself in this paper, will allow me only to touch the most important defects; and such as I think seem to require the most speedy redress.

And first; perhaps there was never known a wiser institution, than that of allowing certain persons of both sexes, in large and populous cities, to cry through the streets many necessaries of life: it would be endless to recount the conveniencies, which our city enjoys by this useful invention; and particularly strangers, forced hither by business, who reside here but a short time: for these, having usually but little money, and being wholly ignorant of the town, might at an easy price purchase a tolerable dinner, if the several criers would pronounce the names of the goods they have to sell in any tolerable language. And therefore, until our lawmakers shall think it proper to interpose so far, as to make those traders pronounce their words in such terms, that a plain Christian hearer may comprehend what is cried, I would advise all new comers to look out at their garret windows, and there see, whether the thing that is cried, be tripes or flummery, buttermilk or cowheels. For, as things are now managed, how is it possible for an honest countryman just arrived to find out what is meant, for instance, by the following words, with which his ears are constantly stunned twice a day, mugs, jugs, and porringers up in the garret, and down in the cellar; I say, how is it possible for any stranger to understand, that this jargon is