Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 9.djvu/224

214 glad if they were all burned; but I beg you will leave us our wine to make us a while forget our misery; or give your tenants leave to plough for barley. But I will tell you a secret, which I learned many years ago from the commissioners of the customs in London; they said, when any commodity appeared to be taxed above a moderate rate, the consequence was, to lessen that branch of the revenue by one half; and one of those gentlemen pleasantly told me, that the mistake of parliaments, on such occasions, was owing to an errour of computing two and two to make four; whereas in the business of laying impositions, two and two never made more than one; which happens by lessening the import, and the strong temptation of running such goods as paid high duties, at least in this kingdom. Although the women are as vain and extravagant, as their lovers or their husbands can deserve; and the men are fond enough of wine; yet the number of both, who can afford such expenses, is so small, that the major part must refuse gratifying themselves, and the duties will rather be lessened than increased. But, allowing no force in this argument; yet so preternatural a sum, as one hundred and ten thousand pounds, raised all on a sudden (for there is no dallying with hunger) is just in proportion with raising a million and a half in England; which, as things now stand, would probably bring that opulent kingdom under some difficulties.

You are concerned how strange and surprising it would be in foreign parts to hear that the poor were starving in a rich country, etc. Are you in earnest? is Ireland the rich country you mean? or are you insulting our poverty? were you ever out of Ireland? or