Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/428

 sir, he has not sense enough to play at crambo;" or, "He does not know the meaning of synonymous words;" or, "He never rose so high as a conundrum or a carrywhichit."

R. 33. The Rule of Catch is, when you hear a man conning a pun softly to himself, to whip it out of his mouth, and pass it upon the company for your own: as for instance; Mustard happened to be mentioned in company where I was; and a gentleman, with his eyes fixed upon the ceiling, was at Mus—mus, sinapi — snap eye — bite nose — One in company, overhearing him, bit him, and snapped it up; and said, "Mustard is the stoutest seed in the world, for it takes the greatest men by the nose."

R. 34. The Golden Rule allows you to change one syllable for another; by this, you may either lop off, insert, or add to a word; ex. gr.

This Rule is of such consequence, that a man was once tried for his life by it. The case was thus: A certain man was brought before a judge of assize, for murder; his lordship asked his name, and, being answered Spillman, the judge said, "Take away Sp, and his name is Ill-man; put K to it, and it is Kill-man: away with him, gaoler; his very name has hanged him." This 34th Rule, on this occasion, became a rule of court, and was so well liked, that a justice of peace, who shall be nameless, applied every tittle of