Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/424

 our friend John began to thrive upon matrimony like a twig in a bush. I forgot to tell you that the tailor had so much cabbage out of the wedding suit, there was none at all for supper.

R. 22. The Rule of Inoculating is, when a person makes an excellent pun, and you immediately fix another upon it; as dean one day said to a gentleman, who had a very little bob wig, "Sir, the dam of your wig is a whisker;" upon which I came in very à propos, and said, "Sir, that cannot be, for it is but an ear-wig."

R. 23. The Rule of Desertion allows you to bring a man into a pun, and leave him to work it out: as, suppose you should hear a man say the word incomparable Then you proceed, in-com-in-com-par-par-rable-rable  So let the other make his best of it.

R. 24. The Salick Rule is a pretence to a jumping of wits: that is, when a man has made a good pun, the other swears with a pun he was just coming out with it. One night, I remember, Mr. served Dr. so. The former saying over a bottle, "Will, I am for my mistress here." "How so?" says Tom. "Why, I am for Wine-if-red." "By this crooked stick ," said Tom, "I was coming out with it."

R. 25. The Etymological Rule is when a man hunts a pun through every letter and syllable of a word: as for example, I am asked, "What is the best word to spend an evening with?" I answer, "Potatoes; for there is po—pot—pota—potat—potatoe, and the reverse sot-a-top." R. 26.