Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/421

Rh R, 14. The Rule of Transition; which will serve to introduce any thing that has the most remote relation to the subject you are upon; ex. gr. If a man puns upon a stable, you may pun upon a corn field, a meadow, a horse-park, a smith's or sadler's shop; ex. gr. One says, "his horses are gone to rack." Then you answer, "I would turn oat the rascal that looks after them. Hay, sir! don't you think I am right? I would strike while the iron is hot; and pummel the dog to some purpose."

R. 15. The Rule of Alienation; which obliges you, when people are disputing hotly upon a subject, to pitch upon that word which gives the greatest disturbance, and to make a pun upon it. This has not only occasioned peace in private companies, but has put a stop to hot wranglings in parliaments and convocations, which otherwise would not so soon come to a resolution: for, as Horace says, Ridiculum acri, &c.; and very often it is found so. Sir  once, in parliament, brought in a bill which wanted some amendment; which being denied him by the house, he frequently repeated, "That he thirsted to mend his bill." Upon which a worthy member got up, and said, "Mr. speaker, I humbly move, since that member thirsts so very much, that he may be allowed to mend his draught." This put the house into such a good humour, that his petition was granted.

R. 16. The Rule of Analogy is, when two persons pun upon different subjects after the same manner. As, says one, "I went to my shoemaker's to-day for a pair of shoes, which I bespoke a month ago; and, when all came to all, the dog bristles up to me with a thousand excuses, that I thought there