Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/420

 R. 12. The Elementary Rule. Keep to your elements, whether you have fish, fowl, or flesh, for dinner: As for instance, Is not this fish, which Mr. Pool sent me, ex-stream sweet? I think it is main good, what say you? O' my soal, I never tasted better, and I think it ought to take plaice of any that swims: though you may carp at me for saying so, I can assure you that both Dr. Sprat and Dr. Whaley are of my mind. — This is an excellent fowl, and a fit dish for high-fliers. Pray, sir, what is your o-pinion of this wing? As for the leg, the cook ought to be clapper-clawed for not roasting it enough. But now I think of it, why should this be called the bird of Bacchus? A. Because it was dressed by your drunken Cook. Not at all. You mistake the matter. Pray is it not a grape-lover; i. e. gray plover? — Are you for any of this mutton, sir? If not, I can tell you, that you ought to be lamb-asted; for you must know that I have the best in the country. My sheep bear away the bell, and I can assure you that, all weathers, I can treat my friends with as good mutton as this: he that cannot make a meal of it, ought to have it ram-med down his throat.

R. 13. The Rule of Retrospection. By this you may recall a discourse that has been past two hours, and introduce it thus: "Sir, As you were saying two hours ago — you bought those stockings in Wales; I believe it, for they seem to be well-chose, i. e. Welsh-hose," — "Sir, You were saying, if I mistake not, an hour or two ago, that Soldiers have the speediest Justice. I agree with you in that; for they are never without red-dress." R. 14.