Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/419

 W sent me a catalogue of Mrs. Prudence's scholars, and desired my advice as to the management of them:

Miss-Chief, the ringleader. Miss-Advice, that spoils her face with paint. Miss-Rule, that does every thing she is forbid. Miss-Application, who has not done one letter in her sampler. Miss-Belief, who cannot say the Creed yet. Miss-Call, a perfect Billingsgate. Miss-Fortune, that lost her grandmother's needle. Miss-Chance, that broke her leg by romping. Miss-Guide, that led the young misses into the dirt. Miss-Laid, who left her porringer of flower and milk where the cat got it. Miss-Management, that let all her stockings run out at heels for want of darning.

For which I sent the following Masters:

Master-Stroke, to whip them. Master-Workman, to dress them. Master-Ship, to rig them. Master-Lie, to excuse them. Master-Wort, to purge them. Master-Piece, to patch them. Master-Key, to lock them up. Master-Peck, to mortify them. If these can't keep your ladies quiet, Pull down their courage with low diet. Perhaps, dear sir, you'll think it cruel, To feed them on plain watergruel; But, take my word, the best of breeding, As it is plain, requires plain feeding.

Vide Roscommon.

R. 11. The Rule of Repetition: You must never let a pun be lost, but repeat and comment upon it, till every one in the company both hears and understands it; ex. gr. Sir, I have good wine to give you; excellent pontack, which I got 'pon-tick; but, sir, we must have a little pun-talk over it; you take me, sir, you, and you, and you too, madam. — There is pun-talk upon pontack, and 'pon-tick too, hay? R. 12.